


Polybomb Writing Chain

by lygerzero14, Mysticgator, ToothyVoid (Mysticgator)



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Angst, Drama, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Jealousy, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:03:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 11,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6810232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lygerzero14/pseuds/lygerzero14, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticgator/pseuds/Mysticgator, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysticgator/pseuds/ToothyVoid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was written along with fucking-wecht (toothyvoid/mysticgator) and candygrumps</p><p>This is a writing chain that was started on tumblr.  because it was getting so long, we decided to continue posting our individuals parts on here.  </p><p>Each chapter will be labeled with the initials of who wrote it. (FW, CG, LZ etc.)</p><p>Be warned, this story can go in any direction and change on the fly</p><p>General summary:  Brian and Arin are in a relationship and Dan is jealous</p><p>(If you have read my story "The Pain" already.  This is very different.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. FW

 

“This is fucking bullshit,”

  
Dan watched his two best friends from the corner of his eye. He had never seen Brian so affectionate. His arm slung around Arin's waist while they sat shoulder to shoulder on the non recording couch. Arin had his legs slung over Brian’s lap and was prattling on about some weird phenomenon and Brian… Brian stared after Arin's every word like it was the last thing he would ever hear.

Dan grit his teeth, it was all his fault. He could have spoken up months ago could have nipped this before it got this far and now; Danny looked at his laptop blinking back his hot tears he was alone. He did this to himself and he knew that but still he blamed them.

Two months ago Brian and Arin came to work with an announcement, Dan already knew. He caught them stealing looks and flirting, Dan should have done something.

  
In the present Brian fusses when Arin calls him pet names and Arin turns bright pink when Brian snakes their fingers together and kisses the back of his hand.

They where in love.

Dan was fucking furious.


	2. CG

Arin leaned in and gave Brian a little peck on the cheek and giggled at something Brian had said.

Dan winced at the sight. He was mad and he was jealous, even though he knew he shouldn’t be.

Why couldn’t he just be happy for his friends? Being in love was such a great feeling and he should be happy for them, yet he was just festering in anger in envy.


	3. FW

Brian smiled catching Arin’s lips with a turn of his head, he pats the younger mans thigh.

“Gotta piss, Kitten,”

_Kitten_ Dan’s jaw locked as he held down his rage, of course this was that stage. The puppy love and pet names, and everyone thought it was adorable a side of Brian they never got to see. Dan felt betrayed, this was his side of Brian the one that flirted mercilessly this was supposed to be his.

Arin pouted and dropped his legs letting his boyfriend up. Brian kissed his full lips so slow and full of so much love it left his head spinning; he always did that when he had to leave the room.

He would kiss and hold Arin like it was the last chance he was able to, only Dan knew why, his friend confided in him and still does telling him the little things that worry him and the big things as well. He thinks this is a dream. That he’s going to wake up and never had the balls to approach Arin in his waking life.

Dan wished it where a dream.


	4. LZ

Arin glanced over to Dan, seemingly noticing him for the first time.  Dan quickly averted his eyes back to his laptop.  Arin frowned, seeing how tense his friend was.  “

Hey, man.  You okay?”  Dan paused. 

This was his chance.  He could air out everything.  Get it all in the open.  But a part of him didn’t want to ruin things between them.  Brian and Arin were his best friends.  They deserved to be happy, didn’t they?  Who was he to come in between them, because of his inability to voice his own feelings?  Dan gave the younger man a smile.  

“Yeah, dude. I’m good.”  He said. 

Arin looked like he wanted to say more, but at that moment Brian reentered the room, drawing Arin’s attention away. 

Dan clenched his teeth and looked away as the two descended back into their own little world.


	5. FW

Arin wanted to chat more, he hasn’t had much alone time with his best friend in…well since him and Brian started dating to be quite honest.

Brian noticed the change in atmosphere and frowned he would have to talk to Dan about this. what was even up with him?

Sitting back into his spot he chuckles as Arin slings his body over his lap touching his stubbly cheek,

“Thinking of growing it out babe?”

Dan visibly shrunk, they where so happy what was his problem. 

“I don’t know won’t it age me like 8 years” Brian tapped his chin

“Couldn’t make you any older ,” Arin quips 

Dan can’t take it, standing to his feet he tries his best to look calm “Hey going home everybody,” he announces to no one in particular shoving his laptop in his bag. To anybody else Dan probably looked and sounded just like himself but his two best friends knew better, his two best friends who happened to be dating saw right through him; he was going through something and they where going to find out. Together or not.


	6. LZ

Dan threw his bag onto the couch, not caring his laptop was in there.  He went into his kitchen. Opening a cabinet, he pulled out a bottle and went to his room. 

Upon entering, he plopped on his bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment.  He needed to calm down.  The anger and jealously he was feeling was overwhelming.  His thoughts were consumed by nothing but Brian and Arin happily loving each other.  Dan frowned.

Sitting up, he opened the bottle.  It was supposed to be for special occasions, as he didn’t like to drink much, but he needed something to stop his thoughts, numb his feelings, if even just for a little while. 

He was glad he no longer lived with Barry.  Dan didn’t think he could take his concern and pitying looks. Dan raised the bottle, taking a swig, he winced at the burning sensation from the liquor, as it traveled down his throat.  He took another and another, until his thoughts were fuzzy.  Too loose to think, feel or picture anything coherent. 

He looked up, thinking he had heard something.  Trying to focus, he heard it again.  It was his doorbell.  Dan put the bottle down and laid back onto his bed. 

He wasn’t getting up.  The person could either fuck off, or come in, depending on who it was.  Dan closed his eyes, somewhat aware of the front door opening.  

“Dan?”  

It was Brian. 


	7. FW

Brian’s eyes went from the bottle to Dan and back.

  
“You don’t drink.” He said with a detached noticeably cold voice.

  
Dan sat up on his elbows smirking lopsidedly “of course I drink, I would die other wise,” Noticeably drunk.

  
Brian rolled his eyes taking quick short steps he eases the bottle out of Dan’s reach,

  
“Come on dude your drinking its like 3 pm what is going on I haven’t seen you drink since we where twenty something’s,” he sat down on the side of the bed concern seeping over his normal demeanor.

“You can tell me dude…I’m your best friend,”

  
There’s a question to that statement, the way Brian’s voice lilted and his eyebrows raised he knew thin ice when he treaded on it.

  
“Are we Brian? Are we really?” Dan’s voice was gravely from the alcohol.


	8. LZ

“What do you mean ‘are we really’?” Brian asked. “Of course we are. I mean aren’t we?” He continued, trailing off. 

The situation was odd. Whatever was going on, must be really bothering Dan to cause him to drink. Brian had an idea of what was bothering his partner. 

Despite his world revolving around Arin, he wasn’t blind. He had caught Dan staring off into space and seen his, seemingly small, upset expressions several times. The thing was, most of those times were when Brian was with Arin. Brian took a breath. 

He’d rather wait until Dan was completely sober to talk about this, but Dan was more likely to be uninhibited with his true feelings, and Brian needed to get to the bottom of this before it snowballed out of hand. 

“Dan. Do you have a…problem with me and Arin?”


	9. FW

“What no! Yes?” Dan frowned his words where slurred ‘that’s embarrassing’ he thought letting his arms relax so he laid back.

“Listen man I don’t have a problem with you and Arin, I just have a problem with you and Arin.”  
‘Brilliant. Master of words.’ Dan chastised himself internally.

“Its not exactly fair,” Brian turned his body so he better looked at Dan. “But, I understand.”

Dan’s eyebrow raised as did some bile in his mouth he swallowed around it. 

“What could you possibly understand about this? ”

And even in Dan’s messed up, intoxicated mind he realized how selfish he was, 

“Of Arin? Really?” He pieced together what Brian was inferring.

“It was years Dan, I was able to swallow it hell I even moved on to doing huge things with my life, and then you found this person, out of fucking no where and” he pursed his lips together.

“You described him how I described you…how it was perfect from day one and that really got me heated, then I move back to the states. He’s just as amazing as you say he is but more so, I feel about him how I felt about you 6-7 years back and he,”

Dan knows, its sobering to think of all the time they had together and how much time he spent pretending Brian wasn’t clear with him about how much he cared, he was such a ‘fucking idiot’ his mind mumbles.

“He likes me back Danny, I like him and nobodies…confused…or hiding…we just are… Do you get it…”

He got it, but for no reason it angered him more, he wasn’t confused or hiding /anymore/ and that is what makes his blood boil.


	10. LZ

Dan grabbed his head.  He was getting a headache.  “I get it Brian.  I ignored how I felt about you back then.”  He looked at the older man, splaying his hands out helplessly. 

“I wasn’t fucking ready, but now I am.  I’m ready to admit that yes, I do have feelings for you.”  Brian’s eyes narrowed. 

“Oh?  And now because you’re ready to return my feelings, I’m supposed to just drop Arin and come to you?”  He spat.  “That’s not how things fucking work, Dan!” 

“That’s not…No! I mean…fuck!  I don’t know.”  Dan didn’t know what to think.  His mind was already sluggish from the alcohol and the pounding from the headache was making it difficult to focus. 

He wanted Brian, but from what the older man was saying, he had moved on, even went through his own jealous spell years ago.  Dan mentally laughed over the irony, that it was over Arin too. 

“I feel sick.”  He groaned.  Brian rolled his eyes, getting up.  “I’ll get you some water.  This isn’t over.”  He said, leaving the room, taking the bottle of liquor with him. 

Dan looked over at his nightstand.  His phone was vibrating.  He picked it up.  Unlocking it, revealed a new text message.  

Arin:  Hey man, are you okay? Did…did I do something to make you upset?

Dan clenched the phone in his hand.  Reeling back, he threw it against the far wall.  He watched as it fell to the floor in pieces, feeling only slightly better.


	11. FW

Schadenfreude that's the word for it, the reason Brian grinned despite himself, despite the circumstances.

Brian stuck the neck of the bottle down the sink watching the alcohol bubble away down the drain he heard the crash, rushing back to Dan’s room he sees the scratched paint and obliterated i-phone at the base of the wall.

“What the fuck?!” He yelled, looking back at Dan who shrugged then immediately started dry heaving, had it really been that long since he got shit face? ‘When did I last eat’ Dan thought 

“Oh gross hold on get to the bathroom not on your fucking bed you idiot.”

Brian strode over tossing Dan’s arm over his shoulder and helping him to the bathroom in a rush, he shoved Dan to his knees a bit rougher than well who was he kidding he wanted Dan to feel it, to hurt, holding Dan’s hair back he let’s him empty his stomach, between pathetic sobs and small “I’m so sorry’s”

  
Brian felt the sickeningly pleasurable feeling of schadenfreude satisfaction and then guilt, of course he wasn’t completely honest. Of course he doesn’t tell Dan about the nights him and Arin spend singing his praises, its not the time for that. 

“Get your shit together Avidan I’m not leaving you here alone and I’m not staying in this mess.”

  
He is going to be there, like he is supposed to. Like a best friend should.


	12. LZ

After Dan finished, Brian helped him up and led him to the sink.  Brian grabbed a rag and begin wiping up the mess from were Dan had missed the bowel. 

Dan slowly brushed his teeth, tears still streaming down his face.  He felt horrible, and just wanted to go to bed, and forget everything.  When the two men were done, Brian led Dan back into his room and helped him into some pajamas.  Even though it was coming on early evening, he knew Dan needed to rest. 

Once Dan was settled into bed, Brian took a seat on top of the covers on the other side. 

“I’m sorry, Brian.”  He mumbled, closing his eyes. 

Brian didn’t reply, just watched over him as his breathing evened out.  He had said he wasn’t leaving, but the desire to be in his own bed, preferably with Arin, was strong.  But he needed to make sure Dan was okay. 

After a while, Brian opened his eyes, hearing his phone going off.  He blinked, confused.  He must have dozed off.  Looking at his phone, he saw he had been out for about an hour, and in that time Dan had somehow found his way draped across Brian’s lap.  Brian wasn’t sure if he should find it sweet or annoying. 

“Hello?”  He said answering his phone.  “Brian!  Geez, where are you?”  Arin cried, sounding worried.  Brian frowned. 

“At Dan’s, were I said I would be.”  He heard the younger man let out a breath. 

“Is Dan okay?  I tried texting him, and got no answer.  And when I tried to call, it only goes to voicemail.”  Brian looked down at the broken pieces of Dan’s iphone on the floor. 

“I don’t know, Arin.  I don’t know.” 


	13. FW

Arin was outside, his hand over the door poised to knock. Deciding against just knocking he texts Brian ‘I’m outside.’ Brian read the text cringing internally this …didn’t seem like the best time for Dan to…see Arin.

“Bri?” Dan slurred his face pressed into the pillows his hand reaching out for his best friend, “Was that him?”   
Boy was he perceptive, “Yeah Dan, its Arin he came over…he’s outside.”  
“

He can’t see me like this,” Dan says panicked sitting up “He can’t know oh god I’m the worst” he hiccuped “I am the worst fucking friend!”

Brian texted quickly ‘the doors open but uh be easy on him’

“I’m not leaving him outside Dan.”

“Oh fuck me!”


	14. LZ

‘Be easy on him?’  Arin thought.  Well, that wasn’t cryptic as hell.  What was going on? 

Cautiously, he opened the door and stepped inside, absently wondering why Brian left the front door unlocked.  He passed through the living room, seeing Dan’s bag half on the couch, his laptop on the floor.  It looked like it had been thrown. He passed the kitchen, noting an empty liquor bottle on the counter.  Well, that didn’t bode well. 

Arin continued down the hall, he could hear muffled voices coming from Dan’s room, one of them sounding panicked.  The door was partially closed.  Arin raised his hand to knock, but hesitated as he heard Dan. 

“Brian!  Please, don’t tell him!  I can’t lose him. Not over this!”  Arin heard Brian sigh.  “Okay.  I won’t say anything.  For now, we’ll keep this between us, at least until you are completely sober. But we have to deal with this a some point, Dan.  I saw what you did to your phone, and I don’t want you hurting Arin over this.”  Arin frowned. 

Dan was drunk, which didn’t really surprise him after seeing the bottle earlier.  But what were they talking about?   It really sounded serious.  Why did Dan think he would lose him and why did Brian think Dan would hurt him?  Maybe he shouldn’t have come. 

Arin shook his head, steeling himself.  Well, he was here now and his worry for his friend was outweighing everything else.  He knocked on the door. 

“Come in.”  He heard Brian say. 


	15. FW

Dan curled up onto himself leaning on Brian who raised his finger to his lips, Arin was ready to ask what was up but it was clear that things where not the best. 

“Hey dude,”

Dan flinched at his words they where so genuine they where so full of care and concern.

He was such a piece of shit.

Being comforted by the means of his discomfort and having to swallow it because it was all his fault.

“Hey big cat.” Dan mumbled into his arms “you came out here” he hiccups “to see little old me.” He tries at a joke softly,

“Yeah of course, you’re …my best friend Dan, ”

Dan smiled “Yeah…I know man.”


	16. LZ

The two fell silent, not sure how to proceed.  The tension was thick in the air, and Arin had no idea why it was there.  He looked around awkwardly, something on the floor catching his eye for a moment.  Arin’s eyebrows creased, and returned his eyes to the pair on the bed.

Seeing Dan curled up against his boyfriend, probably would have bothered him but Dan looked so small and vulnerable, like he was on the verge of a breakdown, that Arin was just more concerned than he was before.  There was one thing the grump leader could pick up on.  Whatever was going on, he was at the center of it, probably the problem. 

Arin scratched the back of his head, feeling really uncomfortable. 

“Yeah, so I…uh, just wanted to check up on you, dude.  Had me worried there.”  Dan looked down. 

“Thanks man. I’ll be o-”  Dan cut himself off.  Would he really be okay.  He was so conflicted inside.  He was still angry at Arin for having Brian.  Angry at Brian for moving on and angry at himself for not being able to deal with any of it.   But he was also happy for them and wanted to support them and…everything was just so fucked up.  Dammit!  He wanted Brian! 

Arin then cleared his throat, bringing Dan out of his thoughts.  “So, I’ll just…be going. I hope you feel better Dan.”  Dan nodded his thanks.  Arin then turned to his boyfriend.  

“Brian?”  The older man closed his eyes taking a breath.  “I’m going to stay with Dan tonight.  Make sure he’s okay.”  Arin nodded.  

“Alright.  I’ll see you tomorrow.  Love you.”  Brian smiled softly.  “Love you too.”  Arin returned the smile and turned away but not before seeing Dan’s expression rapidly change before returning to it’s neutral state. 

It was an expression Arin now remembered seeing several times on the singer’s face when he and Brian were together.  Arin closed the door behind him.  He ran a hand through his brown locks.  He now had an idea what was wrong.  Why Dan thought he would lose him if he knew the truth and why Brian thought Dan would hurt him.  Arin remembered seeing the shattered remains of Dan’s phone on the floor. 

Dan was jealous of his relationship with Brian and most likely had feelings for Brian. 

This was quite the problem.


	17. FW

Arin clutched his steering wheel his eyes locked on the dash. What was going to happen to them now, he rubs his eyes before starting the car.

In Dan’s bed Brian laid Dan had fallen asleep clung to his side but Brian was awake.

“What the fuck Dan,” he whispered patting down Dan’s massive hair “Why now Dan why when I’m just…that I…we spent so long both of us and now… God dammit Daniel.”

He closed his eyes breathing deeply,

“I always was terrible at taking opportunities when they presented themselves Brian.” Dan whispers his eyes still closed and his face pressed against Brian’s bicep.

“Both of you huh, god am I a blind fuck up.”


	18. LZ

Brian wrapped an arm around Dan pulling him close. “You’re not blind or a fuck up, Danny. It’s like you said earlier, you weren’t ready.” Dan looked down, tears welling up in his eyes.

“Yeah, but it’s too late. You and Arin have each other and I’m alone.” Brian looked at his partner, seeing how miserable and upset he was.

He felt something within him break. His eyes widened as he felt the long buried feelings for his partner well up inside. Brian bent forward, grabbing his chest as if he was in pain. Dan sat up, giving the older man a worried look.

“Brian?” Brian held up his hand silencing the singer as he tried to calm his breathing.

Why now? He thought he had moved on.

‘That’s what you wanted to believe.’ A voice in his head whispered. ‘You were never over him.’ Brian clenched his eyes shut. The voice was right. He still loved Dan. Still wanted him.

Brian looked up, his eyes darkening. A decision had been made. Dan was getting nervous. Brian was behaving oddly. He lightly touched his shoulder.

“Are…are you oka-.” Dan was cut off as Brian shifted, too quickly for Dan’s hazy mind to follow. Dan blinked, looking up at Brian, who now had the taller man pinned under him, holding his arms above his head. Dan’s brow rose in confusion.

“Brian?”

“Shut up!” Brian growled, as he bent down crushing their lips together. Dan gasped in surprise.

Brian took advantage, thrusting his tongue into the younger man’s mouth, deepening the kiss. The two men’s lips moved rapidly against one another, as if making up for lost time. Pressing roughly, licking and biting without any finesse.

Dan moaned, as Brian dominated his mouth. This. This was what he wanted. What he needed. Dan was overjoyed, momentarily forgetting about Arin.

Brian broke the kiss, pulling back, needing to breath. He looked down at the man below him. Dan’s face was even more flushed, his chest rapidly rising and falling, his lips glistening, swollen and bruised, his eyes hooded, filled with desire. Brian swallowed, feeling his pants tighten.

He bent back down, capturing the singer’s lips again, this time more gently. He pointedly ignored the voice telling him to stop, that this was wrong. Brian, in that moment, didn’t care.

He wasn’t going to miss his chance on having Dan again.


	19. FW

Dan bowed off the bed his hands grasping at the air from the position he was held in.

He knew this was how it was going to work, Brian leading him one step of the way at a time. ‘Terrible’

Dan brushed away the voice trying to give him reason. He was not losing this chance.

Brian skirted his eyes down Dan’s body from the top of his disheveled hair to his swollen kiss bruised lips, down his heaving chest and stopping at his unmistakable hard-on.

They where doing this, he …started this.

“Bria-,”

Brian shot him a glare his eyes dark intimidating and hot as all hell.

His mouth closed shut.

“Unless,” Brian began his voice a low husky whisper “you want me to stop, I don’t want to hear a word Danny, am I clear.”

Dan nodded slowly watching Brian, this was happening. That was so like Brian it made his heart ache and his cock throb.

Their lips met again not as bruising and harsh as the first but still on fire, Dan’s arms being let down fly to Brian’s neck fingers in his short grey hair holding their mouths together.


	20. LZ

Brian reached down in between them, pulling down Dan’s pajama pants and unbuttoning his jeans.  He broke the kiss to pull the garments off.  Dan barely had time to whine at the loss of contact, before Brian was back on him, roughly grinding their erections together. 

Dan’s head fell to the side as he moaned loudly at the friction.  Brian attacked his exposed neck, nipping, licking and sucking at the tanned skin, leaving red marks all over. 

Dan’s hands reached underneath Brian’s shirt, pushing it up.  Brian took the hint. Sitting up, he pulled his shirt off and did the same with Dan’s.  He laid back on top of Dan, both men groaning at the contact of their bare skin on one another. 

Brian resumed his progress, traveling down to Dan’s chest, placing light kisses all over. 

‘What the hell are you doing?’ The voice in the back of his mind coming back. 

‘Taking what I want.’  Brian reasoned with himself, trying to push the voice away, as he latched onto one of Dan’s nipples, sucking hungrily. 

‘What about Arin?  Remember?  Your boyfriend?  The one you claim to love.’  Brian shook his head, pulling back. 

Shut up.  Shut up.  Shut up. 

“SHUT UP!!”  Brian yelled, grabbing his head. 

Dan’s eyes widened at the outburst.  He hadn’t said anything.  He watched worried as Brian pulled away from him and climbed off the bed, his eyes shut tightly.  Dan sat up on his elbows. 

“…Brian?”  The older man’s eyes opened, fixing him with a dark glare.  Dan shrunk back, suddenly feeling afraid.  Seeing the reaction, Brian sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“Dan…I-I can’t do this.  I love Arin too fucking much to do this to him.”  Dan’s face fell. 

“But I thought…I mean…what about me?”  He asked quietly.  “What was all that?”  Brian’s head fell back, looking up at the ceiling. 

“That’s the problem.  I love Arin but…I-I love you too.”  He then turned away, resting his head against the wall.  “I thought I was over you, but the feelings were still there.  This whole fucking time, they were still there.”  Dan watched silently from the bed, as Brian’s hands clenched into fists. 

“Why?  Why the fuck can’t I get over you?”  Brian choked out.  “I want to be with Arin!  But I want to be with you too!” 

Brian suddenly pushed away from the wall, pulling his arm back. 

“FUCK!!!”  He yelled, punching the wall, the plaster cracking around his now bleeding hand.  Brian’s head dropped.  

“What the hell is wrong with me?”


	21. FW

Dan flinched at the sound, he had never seen this side of Brian before.

Both of them, did Dan know that feeling and did he feel more like shit.

“Brian I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy…let alone you.”

Brian rubbed his eyes shaking his head he grabs his shirt of the edge of Dan’s bed fiddling with its edges.

“What is our problem. Is this like a mid life crisis or something.”

Brian sits down looking at his hand, it started swelling almost on impact.

“Why can’t we just act our fucking age and talk about this. Talk to arin talk between us just fucking talk.”

“Call him…”

Dan was done, he was done with every last part of this.

“I’m hurting, you’re hurting I’m sure…after seeing how I was tonight…arin knows he’s so perceptive about human things. “

Brian nodded thinking of the man he loved, well one of them.

“Fuck I sent him home, “

  
In Arin's car not even 5 miles away he sat cursing at himself for being stupid and on the verge of tears for caring so much.

‘Dan, Dan finally sees how he actually feels or accepts it and now I’m in his way.’

“I’m in the way.” Arin muttered around a massive bite of his burger. He had stopped at Wendy’s hoping to clear his mind with delicious meat, but every bite felt empty and flavorless.

  
He would do anything for Dan, he would give him the skin off his back if he asked, and Brian…oh Brian. This was the worst, Arin accepted years ago Dan would never feel for him as he did for Dan. Burying those feelings in that deep place that no one talks about but Brian, his heart was on his sleeve.


	22. LZ

Arin got out of his car taking the uneaten food and tossing it into the trash.  He didn’t know why he even bothered.  He walked back and reentered his car. It was getting late, he needed to get home.  

As he drove down the dark road, his mind wondered back to what he had seen. Dan curled up against Brian. Brian next to him, his presence surrounding them like a force-field. They had looked like they belonged together.  Maybe they did belong together.  They were together years before Arin had even heard of them.  Brian and Dan had a history together that didn’t include him.

Arin’s eyes began to water again.  He really was in the way. Even though he loved them both, Dan only had feelings for Brian. They deserved to be together.  

Arin looked over to the passenger seat, his phone was ringing.  He could see from the display screen that it was Brian.  Arin considered ignoring the call.  He really didn’t feel up to talking.  But still.  

Against his better judgment, he reached over pressing the answer button.  The car swerved a bit.  Arin quickly straightened the wheel.  Once he had the car back under control he reached back over putting the phone on speaker.  

“Yeah?”  He said, trying to keep his voice casual. “Arin?” Brian’s voice came through the speaker. “Where are you?”  He asked.  

“I’m on my way home.”  He responded.  Arin frowned when Brian didn’t reply right away.  He could here rustling, like fabric rubbing against each other…or someone putting on clothes.

Arin felt his heart clench.  Did they? Brian’s voice came back through.  “You’re not home yet?”  Arin took a breath.  “I stopped to get something to eat.”  

Arin paused.  Should he ask?  Brian was still his boyfriend.  He knew how Dan felt, but he still loved him, didn’t he?  

“Hey, um…how’s Dan doing?”  

“…He’s okay.  Actually, we were wondering if you could come back?”  

Come back?  Arin could feel his chest tightening again.  There could be only one reason both of them would want to see him.  Arin suddenly felt a surge of anger.  

“Why?  Did you sleep with him?” He coldly asked.  “…I-Arin what?”  Brian asked.  He sounded confused.  

“Did you sleep with Dan, Brian?” He repeated.  “…Arin…I…”  Brian trailed off, unknowingly confirming Arin’s suspicions.  Arin could feel the tears welling up, blurring his vision.  He angrily wiped at them.   The car swerved again.  

“Goodbye, Brian.”  He choked out.  

“Arin!  Wait!  That’s not-”  

Arin didn’t hear what Brian said.  His vision filled with bright headlights headed straight for him. 

‘Looks like I’ll no longer be in the way.’  He distantly thought, as his world faded, amidst the sound of screeching and crunching metal.


	23. FW

“Arin!, Arin?” Brian yelled into his phone he heard tire screeching over the receiver. The phone cut off, Brian’s hand shook the phone dropping from his ear to Dan’s bed.

He was off the bed faster then the blink of an eye “Dan get your keys, we need to go now,”

Dan was confused and against his wishes still a bit inebriated.

Brian took them from him dragging him along in his pajamas. He pushed Dan into the passenger seat looking up and seeing an ambulance left was Arin's place, right was LA.

“Please turn right please turn right.” Brian begged.

He hit the gas tailing the truck as it turned hard left, “oh fuck Arin oh fuck Arin”

Slowly what was happening dawned on Dan, 

“Oh no, oh please no not tonight.”

 

Everything hurt, his head his chest.

‘Is my last meal really going to be a baconator?’ 

Arin was pinned to his chair by his own steering wheel.

He tried to move only to scream in pain his leg was fucked too, honestly that was the worst part of this. He couldn’t even kick the dash out of frustration he was just, stuck.

‘Breath Arin’

He sees closing in head lights out the corner of his eye, he hears the voices 

'EMT?’

“Arin!?”

“Arin please can you hear me?”

“I’m not stepping back no matter what you say that’s my boyfriend!”

'Brian was fighting, that’s unlike him’


	24. LZ

“Get the fuck off me!!” Brian yelled. “Arin? Dammit! Let go! Arin!” 

Brian struggled against the police officers who arrived on the scene. They were holding him back, keeping him away from Arin. Didn’t they understand? He had to get to him. 

Dan was standing nearby, barefoot and still in his pajamas. His eyes wide, glued to the scene before him. There was Arin’s crushed car underneath the crumpled bumper of an SUV. The other vehicle was practically on top of Arin’s car.

The firefighters were working frantically to get Arin out of his car, using the jaws of life, while the paramedics tried to keep Arin conscious, talking to him through the busted out passenger window. 

There was yelling between the paramedics of Arin’s leg being trapped, possibly broken, and his ribs may be broken due to his air bag not deploying properly.

Brian was practically in hysterics, hearing the bits of information. He struggled even harder against the officers.

“Sir please. Let them work. You will only get in the way. Your presence will not help him.” One of the officers said. Brian froze. 

The officer was right. He was fucking right. His presence would only hurt Arin, something he seemed to be doing a lot of lately. Brian’s shoulders sagged, as the fight drained out of him. The officer patted him sympathetically on the back. 

Dan came up beside Brian, taking his hand in his own, squeezing lightly. Brian kept his eyes on the scene, but squeezed back appreciating the comfort. He knew Dan was scared shitless too. 

“Okay. We got it open.” A voice yelled. The paramedics quickly rolled a gurney over. The firefighters gently lifted Arin out of the vehicle, placing him on the wheeled-stretcher. 

Brian moved to approach, but a hand stopped him. He looked up to see the officer shaking his head. Brian swallowed thickly as he watched his boyfriend get loaded into the back of the ambulance. 

“Come on. I’ll drive you guys there.” The officer said.


	25. FW

“I fucked us.”

Dan sat in the back of the cop car his hands fisted to his knees watching the back of the rocking ambulance in front of them.

“If I wasn’t such a fucking man-child I could have dealt with this head on and Arin-” he covered his mouth holding down a sob.

Brian sat still by his side his jaw locked and his eyes on the vehicle they tailed.

Silence.

Brian doesn’t say a word not a single one that entire night, Arin is rushed past as they stand in the waiting room Brian’s hands clutching Arin's tattered hoodie till his knuckles went white.

Dan did all of the talking, helping the nurses fill out his forms and making sure that everyone knew what happened.

  
Barry, Ross and holly where the first to come Barry left first he had a flight at 4am to his parents but he stayed as long as he could. Vernon, Suzy and Jack stayed till 9am before leaving the two with curt goodbyes and call us when he wakes. 

Holly left last, Ross had medication to take at home and he promised to be back but holly stayed holding Brian’s arm and Dan’s hand.  
It was enough for Brian, at 10:35 am on that gross smoggy Thursday morning Brian broke into the most gut wrenching heart crushing sobs you could ever witness.

“I did this! I hurt him and now I know nothing of what happened to him!”

He cried loudly hugging the hoodie to his chest folding in on himself.

Dan felt his long since stopped tears welling up, even now after everything Brian blamed himself. Throwing himself to his knees in front of Brian he tries to sooth him shushing his best friend and holding him. 

“I’m sorry Brian, I’m so sorry.”

Holly left them to their tears, asking the nurse if “a Mr. Arin Hanson is out of surgery yet?”

The men looked up hope in their eyes fading when the stout nurse shakes his head.

“Please be patient”


	26. LZ

Holly had left a few hours later when Suzy returned. She had been in contact with Arin's family and booking tickets for them.

Suzy sat between the two men, comforting the both of them the best she could, while hurting herself. When she had gotten the call from Barry, that Arin had been in an accident, she feared the worst.

Arin had been her best friend and roommate for so long, they sometimes joked and called each other their soulmate. That's how deep their friendship went.

Suzy sighed, looking down at the mess of curls in her lap. Dan had dozed off, exhausted. Apparently he had been drinking earlier, and was still feeling the effects.

She looked over at Brian, who was hunched forward, his hands clasped between his legs and staring hard at the floor. Since his earlier breakdown, he had not said a word. She knew he was blaming himself, as was Dan.

Suzy knew something had happened. That evening Arin had went to Dan's house, saying something about checking up on him and Brian. She had received a call from him later, he said that he was on his way home. He had sounded off.

A throat then cleared, bringing Suzy out of her thoughts.

“Are you three here for Mr. Hanson?” A man in a white coat asked. Suzy nodded, shaking Dan awake.

“I'm Dr. Hoffman. I'm here to give you an update on his condition. Please follow me.”

The three stood up and followed the man through the hospital halls.

After a few minutes of walking, Dr. Hoffman brought them into an empty room.

Closing the door, he motioned for Suzy, Brian and Dan to have a seat. He then pulled up a chair in front of the trio and sat down.

“Now, I understand that you three are the closest Mr. Hanson has to family?” Suzy nodded.

“Yes. His family is in Florida and they won't be here for a few days.” She said. “Arin is our best friend.” She continued, motioning to her and Dan. “And he's Brian's boyfriend.” She said, gesturing to the older man.

Dr. Hoffman nodded, then looked down at the chart. “Mr. Hanson has suffered several moderate to severe injuries. I am told his vehicles airbag was faulty and only partially deployed. He received a concussion and several of his ribs were cracked. The most severe injury was his left leg. Due to the angle of the crash, it took the brunt of the force. His leg, foot, and ankle all suffered multiple breaks in the bones. Normally, an injury like this would result in an amputation of the limb.”

Suzy gasped and Dan's eyes widened. Brian didn't react, his head hanging low and eyes still on the floor, his hands clenching into tight fists. The doctor continued.

“Mr. Hanson is very lucky. His surgery was a success and we were able to save his leg.”

“Thank God.” Suzy exclaimed, a wide smile forming on her face. Dan let out a breathless laugh slumping back into his chair. Brian just closed his eyes.

“He should make a full recovery but we will be keeping him for a few weeks to monitor the injuries. Due to the nature of concussions, symptoms of other conditions may be delayed.” Suzy and Dan nodded.

“Do you have any questions?”

“Can we see him?” Dan asked. The doctor nodded.

“Because he just got out of surgery, only two may go at a time, and the visit should be only ten minutes. Tomorrow you can see him during visitor hours.”

Dan and Suzy nodded their understanding. Dr. Hoffman then stood up.

“I can take you to his room now. Who will be going?” Dan and Suzy looked at each other and then at Brian, who had remained silent the entire time.

“Suzy. You and Brian go. I can wait.” Suzy frowned. “Are you sure Dan?” The taller man nodded.

“Yeah. I'm sure. I'll be in the waiting room.” “Alright.” Suzy said getting up. She walked over to Brian, gently placing her hand on his shoulder.

“Come on Brian. Let's go.” Brian stood up, as if his body was on auto-pilot and followed the two out.

Dan sighed running a hand through his hair. He got up and headed back to the waiting room.

As much as he wanted to see Arin, he didn't trust himself to not breakdown. Going with Brian was also too risky.

The older man had withdrawn into himself, and there was no telling what his reaction would be either. Right now, Suzy was the most emotionally stable out of them.

Dan sat down into the chair with a huff. It was going to be a long day.

 


	27. FW

Brian sat in the corner of arins room, he didn't deserve to touch him, to even be in his room and here he is. 

He picks at the slowly forming scabs on his knuckles and listens to Suzy talk to his …’was he still my boyfriend?’ 

“I'm going to break your other fucking leg when you get better, “ she sniffles rubbing the back of her hand over arins resting cheek.

“I can't believe this happened to you…”  
Brian clenched his jaw, he couldn't tell her he couldn't mention his moment of weakness or the stress or the conflicted feelings now. 

Not while they where two steps from mourning and three steps from throwing a party. 

In the waiting room dan laid across four chairs his arms on his stomach and his eyes glued to a sprinkler. 

The same thought passed through the two older friends like a shared breath.

‘He's better off without me.”

“I'm going to head to the office,” Suzy grabbed her bag and kissed Brian's cheek.  
“Keep an eye on him.”  
She practically orders before taking her leave.  
When she stops by the waiting room dan pretends to be asleep.  
Suzy can read him like a book, reeling back she gave him a punch on the arm.  
“Stop that.”  
“Stop what?”  
“Whatever you are thinking of doing Stop.That.”  
Her voice was stern and the stare she gave him pierced past her tired eyes and turn it into scrutinizing flames.

“You and Brian fix this. Now before either of you leave I want this over with. Its effecting team moral. Whatever needs to be done we all love you, and brian loves you and arin loves you so stop being a sad sack and fix your problems!”

Brian heard her loud and clear when she gave him that same speech Running his thumb over his bloodied knuckles he swallowed his scolding,  
In a separate area Dan laid still staring holes into the ceiling digesting every sentence suzy hurled at him.

He gathered his mental strength, two knocks then a push on arins room door.  
“Brian, I'm not doing this for me or you. I want things to be better.”  
“For Arin?”  
“Yeah.” Dan held himself this was harder than it should be,  
“For Arin.”


	28. LZ

"I'm backing off.  At first I didn't care.  I wanted what you and Arin had, wanted you, no matter the cost..."  Dan looked towards the battered form of his friend, lying prone in the bed.  

"But not at the cost of Arin."  He quietly said.  Brian nodded.  He felt the same.  A relationship with Dan was not worth hurting Arin.  Something he knew all along.

Dan took a breath.  "Brian take care of him."  

Brian looked down nodding.  "I will...until he's fully recovered."

Dan gave him a confused looked. "What?."

The older man rubbed his hands together, still not meeting Dan's eyes.

"Once Arin's better, I'm going to break up with him."

Dan's mouth fell open in shock.

"What the hell are you talking about?"  He hissed, beginning to feel angry.  

The whole thing was his fault and he was for once doing the right thing and staying away so they could be happy together in peace.

So why was Brian saying this?

Brian looked up at his partner, distress written all over his face.

"You think I want to do this Dan?"  He looked down clenching his hands tightly.  

"I still love you.  Even though I love Arin too, staying together...I'll just keep...hurting him."  

Dan frowned, feeling his anger dissipating.  

"But you haven't hurt Arin, Brian."  He said trying to reason with him.

Brian shook his head.  He looked up at Dan, holding his gaze.

"Do you know what Arin asked me before the accident?"

Dan shook his head, dread welling up within. 

"He asked if I had slept with you. Even though I didn't, I actually couldn't answer, cause I was going to.  I had every intention of sleeping with you."

 Brian paused, steadying his breathing.

"He took it as a yes and he said...he said 'goodbye Brian'."  

Brian's head dropped into his open hands.  

"That's...that's when I heard the tires screeching and...and the phone cut off."

Dan stared down at his friend, eyes wide.  He hadn't known about that.  Dan didn't know what to say.  What could he say?

Dan turned to look at Arin.  Suzy had said to fix things, but how could they, when they were the problem?

Brian was right.

Arin would be better off without them.

 


	29. FW

Dan ran his hand over his tired eyes, he was still in his pajamas but thankfully Suzy brought him his sneakers so his feet weren't cold.  
'Why am I thinking about that, this is more serious than my footwear.'  
"Brian, you can't be serious."  
Brian looked up fire in his eyes and his fist clenched tightly.  
"Oh really Daniel? And why not?"  
The flames of anger subsided being replaced by waves of guilt and sadness.  
"He...did this on purpose. I hurt him so bad he tried to run away in the worst way I...I can't take it. I did this to him."  
Dan could say nothing, he knew he should.  
Should have shouldered some of the blame figured out how to make Brian stop hurting; he was pulling a blank.

Fumbling over his attempt to be comforting, Dan catches sight of his best friends finally looking at the damage that truly and honestly he had caused.

Arin looked so weak, so soft and frail. There wasn't the big cat that made Dan's days short and meaningful, or made him the star he was today. His hair laid against his bruised cheeks. So pale.

Then there was Brian, this man was Dan's absolute rock and with one uncontrolled outburst he had been reduced to rubble. He was such a piece of trash.

"You have to stay Brian."

"Why...i'm just going to ruin him."

"Who's going to make sure he's okay when I'm gone?"  
Dan smiled sadly, he was the catalyst. The beginning of the end of his friends happiness and he was more than glad to protect them from what he would do to them.


	30. LZ

Brian tiredly looked up. “Danny. What are you talking about? What do you mean gone?” Dan looked back at Brian.

 

“I started this. I couldn't stand seeing you and Arin together. I wanted that. Wanted what you guys had, and even though you had moved on, I forced your feelings for me out. If I had just let it go, just been happy for you two, none of us would be in this situation. It's probably best that I leave...move on.” Brian looked down.

 

He wanted to say Dan was wrong, but he knew he would be lying. Dan did start this, but Brian helped pushed it forward.

 

He had come to find out what was wrong with Dan as only his friend but finding out his feelings changed Brian and his craving for Dan came back to the surface. If he had had more control, he wouldn't have acted on those feelings, resulting in hurting Arin.

 

They were both at fault.

 

“Dan. You can't...just leave. What about Grumps? NSP? Everything we've accomplished up to this point...” Brian paused, looking down. “Is because of Arin...”

 

Dan ran a hand through his messy curls. Brian was right.

 

If it wasn't for Arin reaching out to him, NSP could have been disbanded. Without Arin, Dan would have been still working crap jobs and bumming off of others for help. Brian would still be in London if not for Arin offering him a grump spot.

 

They owed so much to the younger man. He had done so many wonderful, selfless things for them and how do they repay him. Dan felt the tears welling up in his eyes again. He wiped angrily at them.

 

What could they do?

 

“Guys?”

 

Both men looked up at the voice. In the doorway was Suzy. “We need to talk.” She said gesturing to the two to follow her as she left the room. Brian and Dan shared a worried look as they followed the young woman out the room.

 

The three entered an empty room across the hall. Suzy closed the door behind them. She turned to look up at her two friends.

 

“I overheard the two of you talking.” Both men's eyes widened. “How much did you hear?” Brian carefully asked.

 

Suzy crossed her arms. “From the point you said you were going to break up with Arin.” Dan took in a shaky breath.

 

That was basically the whole conversation. What did Suzy think? What would she say? She was very protective of Arin and his well-being. Always looking out for him when no one else would.

 

“I have to say I'm disappointed in both of you. I should kick both of your asses for what you two have done to him.” Brian and Dan looked away, not able to meet her eyes any longer. They already felt awful and having Suzy upset with them made it ten times worse.

 

Suzy ran a hand through her hair. “Look guys. What's done is done. Thankfully the worse didn't happen. Now, this has to be fixed and the two of you have overlooked the most obvious solution to what you should do.”

 

Brian and Dan turned towards her, confusion across their features. What had they missed?

 

“What do you mean?'

 

Suzy's eyebrow rose. “You guys are forgetting about Arin. How does he feel? What does he want? Both of you are heavily involved in his life and you're making life changing decisions without his input.”

 

She turned to Brian. “Arin loves you. Do you really think he would take you breaking up with him well?” Brian shook his head. If what he believed happened was right, Arin had purposely swerved into the path of the other vehicle and that was from believing he had slept with Dan.

 

Suzy then turned to Dan. “Arin loves you too. You think he will be okay with losing another Not-so-Grump? Another best friend? Not to mention all of our livelihoods rely on the main grump show.”

 

Dan shook his head also. He hadn't really thought things through, still running high on his emotions. Suzy was right. They couldn't make these decisions without Arin. They at least owed him that.

 

It was way past time for them to come clean about everything.

 

“You're right, Suzy.” Brian said softly. “We were so wrapped up and trying to remove the problem, which is us, that we failed to take Arin's feelings into account. We'll hurt him more, if we suddenly cut ourselves out of his life.”

 

Suzy nodded, glad Brian understood.

 

She was also very worried about Brian saying Arin had crashed on purpose. She had never pegged Arin as being suicidal, and hoped that the older man had just misunderstood and it was all just an unfortunate accident. After all, the two had only been together for a few months.

 

“So, what do we do now?” Dan asked.

 

Brian leaned against the wall. “We wait for Arin to wake up and go from there.”

 

At that moment, the door to the room opened. It was Dr. Hoffman's assistant nurse.

 

“There you are.” She said with a smile.  "I have good news."

 

“Mr. Hanson has woken up.”

 


	31. FW

Brian straightened up his slump and sad expression melting away to return at a later time. He had to see him to check on him had to say he was sorry.

The aid lead the three of them back inside arin was smiling at the doctor laughing, well wheezing is a better description.

"Hey...there's my favorite guys and gal" he rasped his breathing labored and shallow.

"Arin I'm so..."

"Don't get all mushy on me Brian. Not when I can't give you a good hug."

Dan and Brian looked at each other, he was too cheery.

"What do I have two heads now?" Arin smiles reaching out with his good hand twining his fingers with Brian's

Brian's heart clenched, "babe d-do you know what happened?"

"Hmm? Well the Doctors said a SUV fucking flipped and crushed me." His brow furrows "they also said I have short term memory loss from being rattled around but eh, what could I have missed honestly."

Dan rubbed his arm, "lots and plenty." Looking to Brian he returns his eyes to his friend.

"Is my funeral soon or somethin?" Arin winced his pain meds waring off.

Brian smiled at his love of his life leaning over the bed and brushing his hair over planting a soft for head kiss.

"I love you."


	32. LZ

Arin chuckled weakly.  “Yeah, I love you too.”  He looked at the three. 

“What’s with you guys?  I mean I know I’m pretty jacked up right now but you guys seem out of it.” 

Dan scratched the back of his head.  “We were really worried about you Big Cat.  The night’s been pretty…crazy.”  Suzy came up to Arin’s side. 

“You really don’t remember what happened?”  She asked, cautiously.  Arin slowly nodded. 

“The last thing I remember is going to the Science Center with Brian.”  He said, before coughing weakly.  Suzy helped him drink the water from the cup near his bed.  Brian frowned. 

“We went there a week ago.”  Arin thanked Suzy and settled back.  “Well, the doc said I have some memory loss.”  He casually said with a small shrug. 

Dan turned towards Dr. Hoffman.  “Is this permanent?”  The doctor looked down at his chart. 

“It’s hard to say.  He has a form of Retrograde Amnesia.  The memory loss is also further than normal.  Usually, the events leading up to the brain trauma are forgotten.  Mr. Hanson may be able to recover his memories by jogging them or they may be loss for good.”  Dan nodded his thanks. 

“Guys, it’s just a week.  At least I haven’t forgotten who I am or who any of you are.”  Arin said, smiling tiredly up at Brian. 

The older man fought back the thought that maybe forgetting him would be better.  Instead he smiled, lightly squeezing Arin’s hand. 

“You’re right Arin.  It could be worse.”  Brian’s smile faded, looking away.  “So much worse.”  He whispered.  Arin then let out a yawn.  “Oh man.  Sorry guys.  Feeling crazy tired suddenly.” 

“We should let you get some rest.”  Suzy said, lightly combing her fingers through Arin’s hair.  A nurse came in with a tray of various pills.  “It’s time to give you your pain medication Mr. Hanson.”  She said. 

“Awesome.  My leg’s killing me.”  Arin gratefully said.  He looked at the others.  “I’ll see you all later?” 

Brian bent down, kissing him on the lips.  “Yeah.  Suzy will stay here, while Dan and I go grab a shower and a change of clothes.”  Arin nodded. 

“Alright. Love you, Bri.”  Brian felt his chest tighten.  “I love you too, princess.” 

Arin smiled as he watched Brian and Dan head for the door, after getting Suzy’s car keys. 

“Later, Ar.”  Dan called over his shoulder.  Arin waved weakly in reply.

Dan closed the door behind him.  He quickly caught up with his partner.

“Are we going to te-“ 

“No.”  Brian said, cutting Dan off. 

Dan looked away, as he followed Brian towards the hospital exit.

 It looked like the two of them had been given a second chance.  A chance they didn’t deserve.  He should have been feeling happy to make things right again but now it seemed he was continually growing a stockpile of secrets to keep from Arin. 

This looked like the correct path to take but it wasn’t sitting well with him at all.


	33. FW

"What do you mean no brian?"  
"We have to...we have to keep him happy."  
The older mans jaw was tight and his fist clenched.  
Dan watches his body language, reading him like an open book.

"You're hoping this all just blows over aren't you? Dude you're taking advantage of him."

Dan wasn't prepared the sudden hard push to his chest sending him into the sterile halls walls.

"You are one to talk Daniel. You are the reason this has all gone to shit why everything's falling apart."

'He's heated,' Dan thinks his eyes close to watering.

"Listen...things are tough...we can talk later we need rest YOU need rest."

Brian frowns, swallowing hard he backs away from his friend. Turning and leaving his movements fast and with intent, he was running from Dan.


	34. LZ

Dan let out a sigh, pushing his hair out of his eyes. Arin glanced over at him. “You alright man?”

“Yeah, man. Just a bit tired.” He said, giving him a smile.

“Well you're in luck.” Arin beamed, leaning closer to the mic. “Cause next time on Game Grumps, we're gonna beat this stupid ass level and Dan here is gonna get some sleep.”

Dan laughed as he stood up and turned off the equipment. He turned back to Arin. “Gonna get something to drink. You want anything.” Arin shook his head.

“Nah, man. I'm good.” Dan patted his shoulder and made his way to the kitchen.

Opening the fridge, he grabbed his favorite sparkling water. Closing the door, he popped the bottle open and took a long drink, pausing when something caught his eye.

Dan lowered the bottle. On the fridge was an assortment of photos. Some of Suzy and Arin. Others of him and Arin and some of the other Grumps and a few of Suzy and Arin's families.

What caught Dan's attention was a recent picture of Arin and Brian. Arin was grinning widely, his arms wrapped around the older man and while Brian was smiling, it didn't reach his eyes.

Dan let out a sigh. He knew how he felt.

It had been five months since the accident. Arin was now in physical therapy, regaining mobility of his leg. His memories of the crash never returned. Brian had decided to not tell him what happened that night.

The older man was almost always with Arin, helping him through his recovery and showering him with love.

The only time Brian wasn't around Arin was when Dan was around.

Dan frowned.

That day after he and Brian had left the hospital, the older man began closing himself off. Dan didn't notice at first but soon it became obvious.

Whenever Dan would enter a room, Brian would make some excuse to leave. The only time they spent together was on NSP stuff and even that was now an overly professional exchange. It was like they were nothing more than co-workers.

Dan had tried not to take it personally but it did hurt that the man he loved and knew loved him back was avoiding him.  Even Arin was noticing but never said anything.  He was mostly just confused. 

Dan knew Brian's behavior was mainly for Arin's sake, as well as their own but it was tough to deal with. 

Dan shook his head, clearing the issues with his partner from his mind. He still had several episodes to record with Arin.

He made his way through the house, looking around. It was still weird to be back recording in Arin's home. Once the animator was well enough to go home, it was decided to set up a temporary recording room in his and Suzy's home once again, to make it easier on Arin's recovery. After all they still had a show to do.

Dan reentered the room and took a seat on the couch. Arin was staring down at the floor, deep in thought.

“Arin?”

The younger man looked up and turned towards Dan.

“Can I ask you a question?”

Dan frowned. That was sudden.

“Sure man. What's up?”

Arin looked down again, his brow creasing. Dan was starting to get worried. Arin looked back up, meeting Dan's eyes straight on.

“I've been having some oddly realistic dreams lately...” He said trailing off. Dan could feel a sense of dread well up within.

“Dan....what happened the night of my accident?”

 


	35. FW

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING MIA FOR SO LONG FORGIVE ME!

Dan's throat went dry, he wrung his hands together.

This was his chance to come clean, every night since the accident he was pained by the thoughts of what happened but even more the stress was changing everyone's friendships.

It was still all his fault to begin with, he was selfish then and right now he wanted to not be.

"Arin I love you." 

Arin blinked that wasnt remotely what he exspected.

"I am jealous that you and brian are together." Swallowing hard he let out a breath to bring himself back to the task at hand but it was useless.

"Call brian. Do not tell him I am here, we need to talk. All of us now. Before things get any worse. I love you big cat."

"I love you too dan,...this sounds like a goodbye? Are you leaving? what's going-" Arin winces holding his head.

"Shhh baby bear don't work yourself up. Just...call your boyfriend alright"

Mouth in a tight line head full of doubt and pain arin calls Brian.

"Hello,"  
"Hey babe can you come over I don't feel well and I'm alone? If its not a "  
"I'll be over in 20" Brian cuts him off "you are never a bother"  
Arin smiled fondly, there's the man he loved. His heart aches as he catches dans eye.  
Dan holds a finger to his lips  
"See you soon"  
"I love you Arin"  
"I know"

Brian stared at the phone, Arin didn't say it back...


	36. LZ

Arin and Dan sat in silence, waiting for Brian to show up.  Arin had tried to get Dan to tell him what was going on, but Dan refused to talk about it.  Insisting that Brian needed to be there.  Arin stared at the ceiling, going over what little Dan had said. 

Dan said he loved him, and was jealous of him and Brian being together.  While a part of him was excited to find this out, since he had his own feelings for Dan, he couldn’t understand what any of that had to do with the night of his accident. 

Dan also seemed really nervous.  Why didn’t he want Brian to know he was there?  Why did he sound so resigned?  Was something wrong between him and Brian?  Arin knew that they weren’t together as much anymore, but he assumed it was because of his recovery.  A lot had to change for him because of his injuries and it affected Brian, Suzy and Dan the most.

It looked like something more was going on.  Arin was so confused, and those images from his dreams kept flashing through his mind, along with feelings he wasn’t sure were his own.  The whole thing was confusing him more.   He couldn’t tell what was real and what wasn’t real in his mind anymore.  On top of all that, the pain in his head was getting worse.

Dan sat nervously next to Arin.  His hands were clenched tightly in his well-worn ripped jeans.  His right knee was bouncing up and down restlessly.  Glancing over, he could see Arin with his head now down, a grimace on his face.  He looked like he was in pain.  Dan mentally swore.  He probably shouldn’t have said anything, or at least not have chickened out, leaving his friend worried and confused. 

Shit!  He was still messing things up even when trying to fix them.  Before Dan could reconsider how he was going about things and ask Arin if he was alright, he heard the front door open.  “Arin?”  Dan froze.  Brian was here.

Arin slowly lifted his head.  He was starting to feel sick, his head pounding.  “In here.”  He called, before letting his head fall back against the cushion, feeling too weak to hold it up.  His head too cluttered with things he didn’t understand.

Dan kept his eyes on the floor, as he heard footsteps approaching from down the hall and coming to a stop at the door.  There was a full minute of silence. 

Brian stared, eyebrows raised at the man he had made a point to avoid.  Why was he here?  Arin had said he was alone.  Speaking of which.  “Arin?  Are you okay?”  He asked, momentarily ignoring Dan.  Brian walked over next to the couch, placing his hand gently on his boyfriend’s forehead.  Arin winced.  “Migraine.”  He whispered.  Brian’s eyes widened as did Dan’s.  About a month after the accident, Arin had been diagnosed with Post-Concussion Syndrome.  But Arin hadn’t had a migraine for months now and his were usually triggered by stress. 

 Dan looked over.  Worry for Arin outweighing his nervousness of confronting Brian.  His eyes still ended up meeting Brian’s.  The older man looked furious.  Dan could see the unspoken ‘What the fuck did you do?’ clearly.  Dan cleared his throat, standing up.  “I’ll go get his meds.”  He said, quickly leaving the room.  Brian’s accusatory eyes following him out. 

Brian let out a sigh and took a seat on the couch.  Arin shifted resting his throbbing head on his chest.  “Bri…why does it hurt to remember?”  He whimpered into Brian’s chest.  “Remember what, Arin?”  He quietly said, lightly stroking Arin’s arm.  “That night…been having dreams…Dan said he was jealous…said to call you…”  Brian tensed up.  A fresh wave of anger coursing through him.  Dan didn’t.  He fucking didn’t.

“Brian?”  Arin asked looking up, concern clear in his voice, despite the pain.  Brian took a breath, schooling his expression back to normal.  “Let’s take care of your migraine first…then we’ll talk.”  Arin nodded, slowly lowering his head back down. 

A moment later, Dan reentered with a bottle of water and Arin’s pain medication.  He wordlessly handed the items to Brian.  He then moved to the other side of the room, watching silently as Arin took the pills and drank the water, before lying back against Brian’s chest.  The three men sat in silence as they waited for the medication to take effect.


End file.
